Being Different Is A Gift, Not A Curse
Imagine a world where everyone holds the same ideals and similar thoughts – is that ideal, or simply put, boring? Now consider whether we would be in the era of AI if our thought leaders had been afraid to give due consideration to their ‘preposterous ideas’ and step out of their comfort zone?
We each have our unique traits and talents, but sadly, the more ‘popular’ people in our everyday life embrace popular thoughts with which most agree. The worst part is that they denigrate those who dare to think and behave differently. This is my story concerning growing up, entering the sales profession against all odds at the time, and ultimately writing a ‘Corporate tell-all with names changed to protect the guilty.’
The remarkable conclusion is that all the negativity, including hatred, changed me for the better. Early on, I was branded as ‘Fat, Stupid, and Ugly’. My motto became, ‘Our worst experiences are our gifts in disguise when we are willing to learn from them.’
My Gift: Alone Time
Conversations were a rarity growing up, and honestly, for the better, as they usually ended with hurt feelings. My solution was to use my reflection in the mirror as my confidant. I would deliberately recall the hurtful commentary of the day to weigh the pros and cons of what was said meanly and to determine how I might do better or move onward. Moreover, as I spoke to myself, I observed my facial expressions, hand gestures, and overall body language.
The more important outcome was that weighing the pros and cons prompted pertinent questions that could yield helpful answers. Instead of adding my perspective to peer conversations or classroom discussions, I would ask questions. Sadly, teachers would get annoyed and tell me to sit down, or they would send me to the principal’s office, and my so-called friends would call me negative names.
However, I had no idea that I was training myself to become a successful salesperson. Decades later, it was suggested that I enter the sales profession, as ‘selling’ appeared to be a natural talent for me. My childhood properly prepared me for coping with the horrific ridicule and ugly games in the corporate environment.
I was not permitted training, and so I did things my way, intuitively. Instead of mirroring the typical salesperson by hurling statements at a prospective client to get them to purchase, I merely asked for their perspective upfront: why they wanted to meet with me and what was on their mind. We began sharing personal experiences and laughter to encourage more meetings. My nickname became, ‘A breath of fresh air.’ However, the CEO’s saw the conversations as a waste of company time and money unless a purchase was made. By the 4th month of sales, not knowing anything about the unknown brand of copier I was to sell against Xerox, I became the top producer. The office games grew uglier than ever. Every year for 11 years, I rose to the top of the sales scoreboard, my accounts were handed to the men, my quota tripled the following year, and I had to seek new work each year. The only good news was that I became adept at ‘selling myself on interviews.
All the above laid the groundwork for my ambition to rise above the average mentality of the day. I finally decided to take a day off from work after 11 years of nonsense. While stopped at a red light, another car slammed full force into the back of my car. I was in pain for 10 years as no doctor wanted to touch me.
Finally, and thankfully, I was a passenger in a car on a rainy night when it slid into a lamppost. I quietly said, ‘You’d better call an ambulance.’ Mindset is Everything! I wondered if it would be my last ride as we approached the hospital, but then I told myself, ‘No Elinor, you must think positively to recover from surgery and heal’!
Upon awaiting admission to the hospital while on a gurney, my family was taken into consultation. Suddenly, they burst into loud sobs. But my experience was entirely different. A brilliant gold light encased my entire body, and then two visions appeared before me. The first indicated I was to become a speaker, to which I wholeheartedly agreed. A blink of a gold light appeared, the vision faded, and the second one showcased my life report card. It showed high life marks on the left-hand side, but the right-hand column, entitled ‘Community Service’, was completely blank.
I immediately promised to begin giving back to communities in any way I might. However, being the salesperson, I mentally stated, ‘I promise to begin giving back to communities anyway I may, but to give my best, I must be able to walk out of the hospital on my own.’ Another blink of a light let me know that I would recover. As my family approached me in tears, I cheerfully said, ‘Go home and get a good night’s rest, because I will recover!’
The rest of the ‘experience’ is almost mind-boggling, and again, sales communications saved my life. After surgery, the entire medical staff came to visit me in my room and called me ‘The Walking Miracle!’
Upon my remarkable recovery, I began training sales teams in Silicon Valley, receiving much praise. However, upon moving to another city, visiting a new networking event, and sharing my work on stage, the ridicule and jeers were worse than ever. I jumped off the stage to hear someone say, ‘To establish credibility, you must write a book!’
There was nothing to lose and everything to gain as my phone was no longer ringing. My manuscript quickly broke many records: I wrote the draft in three months, and the first publishing house, Sourcebooks, agreed to publish it. They titled the manuscript “Nice Girls DO Get the Sale: Relationship Building That Gets Results.” I refer to the book as a ‘Corporate tell-all with names changed to protect the guilty’. The book was featured in TIME Magazine, and I appeared on ABC-TV News. Within a relatively short time, my book became an International Bestseller and was translated into several languages. Several years later, it was announced as Evergreen – among the classics!
A few years later, I authored, ‘HIRED! How to Use Sales Techniques to Sell Yourself On Interviews’. One story reveals how I was hired on the spot after sharing a favorite story about visiting Africa to watch wildlife gracefully run across the plains.
Sadly, even with earned credits to my name, the discrimination against me, now as an older woman, continued. Although I was a guest at several business conferences, people turned their backs on me without even hearing a ‘hello’. But it proved to be for the best as I could turn my attention and commitment elsewhere.
Blogging was introduced, and I decided to hide behind it while fulfilling my promise to serve communities. The Smooth Sale Blog was created to help readers advance their careers and businesses. Slowly, it began to attract attention, and a collaborative effort emerged, and the audiences started building and continue doing so to this day. Unexpected opportunities frequently arise. But most importantly, my work is far more rewarding than ever due to my commitment to service.
Surprisingly, mottos came to me later in life to help others succeed:
- Our worst experiences can be our gifts in disguise when we are willing to learn from them.’
- We only have one life to live, and our duty is to live it without regret.’
- Believe, Become, Empower – believe you can do it, become that person, and empower others to do similar.
For me, the excellent ending is that as a child, I would always ask, ‘Why me?’ The answer never came until this year. WebMD let it be known that green-eyed, left-handed people represent only 2% of the global population and think differently. I was astonished that the answer finally arrived, and I am deeply appreciative.
Read Also:
Thomas Stedham: A Journey of Persistence, Leadership & Lifelong Learning
